And January’s a goner too!
When life’s quirks puzzle me, I often venture into the garden – at least on a sunny day like today, to shake off silly thoughts from my head. We had a pretty strong storm last night, so I was taken aback by the incredible blue of the sky when I looked up towards our roof (where the planter in above pic is located)! The wind has almost died down, but it still is a bit chilly, so after a few minutes of gawking at the first signs of spring (I’ll spare you – I already posted so many similar photos over the four years of my blog’s existence!), I quickly returned to my sofa and the relative cosiness the heater affords us.
When I woke up this morning, I found myself in one of those pensive moods that come to me from time to time. I wanted to blog about it, but I still had the unfinished task of this week’s post for the Kempinski’s Discover Gozo blog, and after that I normally don’t feel like writing anything else… and to be honest I still don’t. It always boils down to the same subject anyway. Becoming suddenly aware of time’s passing, of being focussed on nothing but work, of side-lining life itself – and consequently being sidelined by it, too.
In fifty years you get to know yourself pretty well, though it’s a process stretching over a long time and involving a lot of hindsight. And so I am just now coming to terms with the discovery that when I find myself craving for gadgets (Apple’s iPad springs readily to mind) and/or other material stuff (such as new lenses for my camera), then more often than not it is because I feel such things would return some meaning to the life I’m leading… no matter how transient that “meaning” would be. That is the thought I woke up with today and that kept spinning in my head thereafter. I went as far as imagining a huge garage sale, including the cars, and followed by selling the house itself. And then what…? Living the rest of my life on a little island, far away from anything. Wait a moment… I’m doing that already!
Will someone please show me the way beyond square one?!
I can only say that many of us wage-slaves feel the same (especially on a Sunday night..), and my responses have been exactly like yours. I too am lusting after an i-pad but I realised today I have hardly used the e-reader I bought myself for Christmas, for exactly the reasons you mention. I have no solution, except that I think it’s important to fit in some creative activities so that life isn’t just work, eat, sleep, and constant running around punctuated by moments when you suddenly realise another week/month/year has gone by. Mind you, I could still move to the small island, although I know perfectly well it wouldn’t solve anything!
thanks Lyn, for your usual empathy… sometimes I’m tempted it’s me alone whose mind is churning out these kind of thoughts…
Hallo Sabine,
leider kann ich nicht so gut englisch, deshalb auf deutsch ( I think you come from Germany).
Aber die Wintertraurigkeit geht auch wieder vorbei, was sollen wir denn sagen, der kälteste und schneereichste seit 30 Jahren. Soviel Schnee wie diesen Winter habe ich schon lange nicht mehr gekehrt. Und freue mich jeden Morgen, wenn ich daran denke, dass wir Ende August wieder nach Gozo/Malta fahren (Kempinski)
bei der Überfahrt mit der Fähre kann man dann schon ALLE Sorgen hinter sich lassen. Kann man Ihr Buch Angelina´s Ghost auch in Deutschland kaufen?
Have a nice day and hang a loose
Hannspeter