Sadly, I don’t believe in miracles
I had written a long blog post about my aches and pains and my occasional surrender to a couple of Panadol. Then I deleted the whole bloody post again because deep down I know that you don’t really want to know. Suffice it to say nothing has changed at all, but at least I have an appointment with a rheumatologist in 2 weeks’ time. Yeah, that says a lot about the dismal state of health care in Gozo… I’m trying to see these two weeks in perspective to my nearly five months of suffering. I tell ya, it’s so damn hard not to resort to cynicism!
Tonight there is going to be a ‘healing service’ in our Church square, just metres away from my home . The announcement in last week’s bulletin somehow caught my eye, and I’ve been thinking about it every day. That’s rather strange as I don’t actually believe it works. Some time ago I saw something on a local TV station about these services given by “Dr John” and all I could think about was the cult-like taste it had to it. And yet… I can’t help thinking about how apt the timing is. Probably goes to show how ready I am for a miracle! Which, I must stress, I’m way too cynic to believe in happening. I admit sometimes it sucks to be me…
On the other hand, there are things that still manage to pull my attention away from my own misery and put things into perspective. My friend Lisa, who I’d finally met in person in Munich last month, is just now having a tough time after her routine mammography last week showed up a calcification that needed checking out. She was supposed to receive the results yesterday but then was put on hold until Monday as further tests became necessary. Lisa still doesn’t know whether it’s all good or bad, and frankly, if I was in her shoes it would freak me out.
Honey, I’m thinking of you, Jenna and Keith, and sending sunshine and lots of virtual hugs for you all across the ocean! I hope that by Monday the spook will be over and you can get on with your lives! xxx
Sabine, maybe God is trying to tell you something, by bringing the healing service there at this time. I admit, there are plenty of charlatans out there, pretending to heal in God’s name. However, that doesn’t change the fact that God still hears & answers prayers, and God continues to heal and perform other miracles. In my life, I’ve been blessed to see many miracles, not only of healing but of all sorts. I’m not saying God will definitely heal you if you go to this service. What I am saying is that He CAN.
I will continue to hold you in my thoughts and prayers. Much love and many hugs!
Thank you Joni, for telling me exactly what, deep down, I probably wanted to hear, because I know that many of my friends think the same. And I want you to know how much I envy you all for your real beliefs.
I’ve been having the same thought, that God might be trying to tell me something. I would never say that I am an atheist; but the hypocrisy I’ve seen and experienced in this extremely Catholic country (I was brought up a Protestant), has practically done away with my trust in the church (the institution).
But then, there’s also the nagging doubt… why would He want to heal me if I went to the service, but not if I didn’t?
Joni, this is a hornet’s nest… a subject that goes well beyond the space of a comment. Love & hugs back at ya! xox
No harm in trying though…you never know =)