Different type of memory this time…

Occasionally I like to daydream about being a professional photographer (yeah, writing is taking a backseat at this time!). Somewhere I read that daydreaming is good for you, so…

Trouble is, I’m always jolted out of these dreams with a jolt. A few weeks ago I went to Marsalforn and Qbajjar for a sunset shoot. I’d arrived early and while the sun was still up I strolled around the fisherboats and took a few shots. I don’t always check the display for results (and you can’t take photos watching the display like with a “normal” digital camera) - so that little note saying, “no CF card”, eluded me until I’d taken some twenty pics… *groan* Unbelieving, I checked the memory card slot, which of course was truly empty - the card was sitting smugly in my PC’s cardreader. Swearing like a fish monger, I drove back to Victoria and bought another card - to be safe next time round…

About a month ago, Gill & Steve arrived after a looong overland journey (read all about it on Steve’s blog!) in Gozo - to stay for good this time. Yesterday we were invited to their house for a barbecue. I had the intention to show you the yummy stuff that was sizzling on the grill. I took some creative shots of the whole group from across the pool. Some time later hubby decided to snap a few pics - and of course you already know what’s coming… He said, “it says here, ‘no CF card’!” OMG. No. Can’t be! Well, yes, it was so. I felt such a fool. An unprofessional one, to be sure. The spare card, by the way, was right where it was supposed to be: stored safely inside the camera-bag. Which was sitting right on our living room sofa back home.

Oh, but: I had a spare battery in my handbag. THAT must count for something, no??

Anyways. A good time was had by all, even if we don’t have snapshots for proof; you just gotta take my word for it…

After my Chasing Pandora post this morning I went on to add my PhotoHunt of the week to my photoblog. The subject is Candy, but unfortunately it’s not good for me. I won’t lie: I largely resisted the temptation, shooting loads of pics of the yummy stuff but taking only one bite!

It seems like I’m going to spoil you with posts this weekend - I’m on a roll! Strange how that comes exactly at the time when I’m just beginning to come to terms with the fact that my blogging activity has become a weekly, rather than a daily, routine. Go figure…

There’s still one whole week to go until She-Who-Blogs celebrates its first anniversary, but I know myself well enough not to trust that I’ll be up to blogging on May 24th. So here’s a heartfelt

to Frances and all the other great ladies that are part of this awesome gathering of bloggers! Most of them are rather more productive than I’ve ever been, but still I’m proud to be a member of the pack!

This week my friend Sabine from California posed her questions regarding a very interesting subject for bloggers, to the group: She asked how “open” our blogs were; for example, would we show photos of ourselves/family, tell where we live, etc. I realised (once again) that I’m living in a rather non-anonymous world. I’m convinced that even if I were to blog anonymously - an option I’ve been turning round and round in my head! - people would still find out who I am. As it is, I’m not even trying to hide my identity. It’s something I hadn’t even considered when I started blogging, and after only one post it was too late anyway, as Robert “outed” me before the thought had even occurred to me.

However, I’d consider blogging anonymously only in order to say things which I can’t say publicly without unwelcome repercussions. I bite my tongue (well, fingers…) and just leave those bits out. But in the blogosphere outside Malta there are other, more serious considerations that are valid: is it safe to put your personal details out, for all to be able to identify the real person? I think I’d mentioned that a MySpace friend and her family rang my door bell some time last summer (sorry, too lazy to look up the post!!). With the details she had of my whereabouts, it didn’t take too much trouble to find me. Well, ok, in Gozo you probably only have to ask the first person you meet off the ferry and they’ll guide you right to my doorstep.

But I do understand that the world is full of weirdos & sickos, and it is definitely within the realms of the possible that instead of Fabienne I’d have found an axe-wielding disturbed person, who was miffed at one of my posts. Maybe I’ve lived for too long in this cocoon of an island to be able to sensibly judge reality?

On the other hand, I don’t think I’m alone with my naivety. Do other Maltese bloggers ever think about the safety aspect of their anonymity or otherwise? I’ve read many posts and comments concerning fears of repercussion, mainly in the work-place, which is probably more real in this small community than, say, in America. However, I’ve never come across someone mentioning other dangers.

So, if you’re a Maltese blogger… do you have an opinion about this? And if you’re an unstable person with murder in mind, please do let me know whether you’re on the way to Gozo to find me out!!

P.S. Coming to think of it… the weapon of choice to square open bills in Malta is a shot-gun. My chances of survival might be better at the hands of an axe-murderer!

A couple of days ago I received this much awaited package from Chasing Pandora’s management in the post - TWO is all mine now!! I listened to it a few times and it gets better every time I hear it. Memories is going to be the single that will be released on 2nd June - so I was mistaken when I guessed it was going to be Only Yesterday, but then, all songs are really beautiful so it doesn’t really matter!

Big thank-you to Mel & Keith (and Sam Brown!) for letting me have the CD - and for allowing me to share the song with my blog readers. It means a lot to me!

Memories…

When (if!) you go to a psychiatrist or psychotherapist, chances are you’ll be asked to recount your earliest memory from childhood. It used to be one of my tasks to transcribe the medical history of psychiatric outpatients, and I always marvelled at these earliest memory testimonials. Although it would have been the obvious thing to do, I never bothered myself to find out how far back I could remember things, but I was sure I could never recall stuff that happened so impossibly early in my childhood, and I often wondered whether people used to make up their tales on the fly.

I reckon it was CP’s song title (not the lyrics, mind you) that brought back this particular memory of the earliest memory thing the other morning, causing me to scramble through my mind to see how far back it could take me. I was amazed to find myself arriving at the age of 2 to 3 years: My great-grandfather used to live with us until he died (what I really can’t remember is how we all fit into that tiny flat!) I do recall the refreshing sips of cold black coffee, which he happily shared with me on my insistence. The strange thing is that I clearly remember its refreshing taste - but ever since I started drinking coffee regularly in my teenage years, I’ve always taken it with milk and sugar. I hate black coffee, although I seem to have loved it back then…

Something I’d like to know now is, what do such recollections signify? It didn’t occur to me to ask our docs at the time, even though our working environment was a great one. Questions from me, the only non-medical person on the staff, were never brushed off. (Can you tell how much I miss that job, even today?) I really don’t know why I wasn’t curious enough to ask…

So… Have you ever given thought to your earliest memory? How far can you travel back in time? And what the hell does it all mean??

Before I start ranting, I thought I’d wish all Mums out there a fabulous Mother’s Day tomorrow - and hope y’all have thoughtful offspring who’ll read your every wish from your lips!! And just in case you’re belonging to the league of those who dismiss the need of a special day: don’t be daft! Enjoy every minute of pampering (if you get it, that is!!), because it’s pretty much impossible to get such treatment all the year round!

I’m in a real good mood today, which means I’m feeling too good to foul it with the rant that I prepared in my notebook one morning this week - at least I’ll leave out most of it. It was in connection with Gozo 1234 - those four days of cultural events last weekend. Which, in my humble opinion didn’t live up to expectations. I think it was a mistake to bundle all those activities into one weekend. And many of those weren’t especially put up anyway! Gozo would have been buzzing with people irrespective of Gozo1234, being a long weekend as it was. And if the rumours are true that local bar owners were refused permits to sell drinks outside their bars, in favour of Maltese vendors who flocked over to make a good buck, then that’s pretty despicable, if you take into consideration that this was touted as one of those events that help businesses in Gozo…

OK, I said I wanted to keep the grumbling to a minimum, so I’ll leave it at that. It’s all old hat again, anyway. (Is it really only one measly week that has passed since??) On my photoblog there are a few fabulous cars from the Classic American Car Show (not sure about the correct title), which served as great eye-catchers. I did wonder why on earth upper Republic Street was closed to traffic (despite being practically void of pedestrians Saturday afternoon), when admirers of those great cars had to fear for life and limb while dodging the traffic! I know what I’m talking about, because I couldn’t get enough of one particular Corvette and probably made a nuisance of myself in the middle of the busy road…

Also on Saturday, we visited the Underground Emergency Mill in Xlendi and were surprised about the €2 entrance fee per person. Oh well. Hopefully that money will go towards restoring - or at least cleaning up! - the messy machinery. It’s a rather pitiful place, and not exactly “historic” either. Yesterday I finally sat down to read the Maltese leaflet we were given (why none in English??), and it turns out it was not supposed to be used in WW2 as someone mentioned to me, but only built a few years after the war, just in case there might be WW3 around the corner. Apparently it has never been used at all, apart from weekly dry runs (i. e. without the wheat) until the early 70s. Tikber u titghallem! A few pics of it are - naturally - also on “the other side”, here to be exact (click on images to scroll through).

You know it’s the weekend when the weather is bad… Well, bad… not everyone will agree with me here, at least most of the day was sunny too (not now, though!). But it has been very, very windy - and for me, that’s as bad as weather can get. I hate wind with a passion! On the other hand, it’s the one ingredient needed for choppy seas, so this morning I forgave the weather. I made the best of it and went for a photo stroll around the coast of Marsalforn. That whistling noise wind tends to make in built-up areas really saws at my nerves, but the sound of breaking waves is the total opposite: it’s music to my ears - I love it!

Oh, and on my way out to the car I came across these winged ants that were covering most of the path through the garden to the garage - there must have been hundreds of them. I’ve got no idea where they came from overnight (literally), but I was fascinated by them. So much so that I dropped everything to the ground and snapped a couple of photos (here & here) for my PhotoHunt post. Good thing I did, too: by the time I returned home they had vanished without a trace. Creepy stuff!!

Coming back to Mother’s Day… If you happen to be in Gozo tomorrow and don’t quite know yet where to take Mum for celebrations: you could try the special brunch that is going to be held at the Kempinski Hotel San Lawrenz! First of all, it’s not as expensive as you might think (in fact, between you and me, it’s just €25!), and the setting really is beautiful and “classy”! Hope you can forgive me for that plug… but I might be going myself, and what good will it do if I tell you all about it afterwards, eh?

(do you recognise the rose? )

Crazy for books, the title said originally. But then I thought just crazy, full stop, was more accurate.

I’ve always loved reading, but lately I’m totally enthralled with the compelling novels by Jodi Picoult. A while back I started off with Vanishing Acts, and a few weeks later Second Glance was on my shelf. One by one others followed, and yesterday I found a fabulous buy 3 pay for 2 offer, and of course I couldn’t resist (the top 3 on the pic).

When I read several books by the same author, I really must be more careful when buying them. My memory for titles is simply terrible! Dean Koontz, is one of my favourite authors, whose books I just buy whenever I can lay my hands on them. A little over a week ago I bought Forever Odd. Because the title suggests “end of story”, I assumed it was the last book of the Odd trilogy… When I was about to start reading it yesterday I realised my mistake; I had meant to buy Brother Odd. Bummer! But now… wait for it… I just skimmed through my books and what do you know: I read that one too. Maybe you’ll understand now why I sometimes re-read my books. Although after a couple of years I’ll still find some vague familiarities, I often can’t remember the whole story. Need to have my head examined!! (The last Koontz I just finished is The Good Guy, by the way, I’m happy to report I remember that!)

Between reading and sleeping I also found some time for photo-strolling. Sadly Gozo 1234 wasn’t much of a success for me though. Hubby had to work a lot these last few days, and a few other happenings got in the way too. I’ll be sorting through my photos, mainly of Victoria, later today or tomorrow, and will upload the best ones to my photoblog. Time… such an elusive commodity! That’s one of the reasons why I’ve been neglecting my blog again.

One of the things that clashed with the Gozo 1234 events was my baby’s birthday yesterday - 22 years old already! (Where does that leave me…) Again, awkward timing prevented us to be together as a family for most of the day (there was always one of us three that was absent), though we did make it to dinner late last night. But the cake, that’s been sitting on the kitchen table wasn’t even cut - I think he hasn’t even seen it! He hurried back to Malta this morning, to avoid the long ferry queues that were expected for later in the day. So I took a photo of the cake and posted it to his MySpace page… yep, we’re a crazy family. There, that word again: C-R-A-Z-Y!

  HAPPY BIRTHDAY DANIEL! I know you enjoyed the day anyways!

Wednesday night our department went out for a dinner; it was originally thought to be a farewell do for our German trainee Tina, who was going to leave us this week. Turned out she’s going to stay on (yay! ), but that wasn’t a reason not to go out! As I’ve been slowly slipping into the role of a PR person, I had my camera with me of course. And being the perfectionist that I am, I also dug up our department’s anthem…

If there’s one thing that can be said for a full-time job it is the fact that you get to appreciate days off just that little bit more… I’ve taken a day of leave today (and found it rather miraculous that it was granted!!), to bridge yesterday’s public holiday and the weekend.

Speaking of miracles: TNChick & family got their precious Zoey back, who had been lost in a city for nearly 6 days. Who has never had a pet will probably not understand how much an animal can become part of the family. When Simba was sick for a couple of days last Summer, the ordeal was as bad as caring for a sick child. I’m so glad Zoey returned home safe and sound! Reading her blog post about how Zoey was found, gave me goosebumps…

This weekend Gozo is supposed to be bursting at the seams with activities. Gozo 1234, which incorporates the International Fireworks Festival and Lejlet Lapsi, kicked off yesterday - however without me. Hubby had to work all day until after midnight. I had played with the idea to go to Marsalforn on my own but didn’t have the right drive for that. It would have been very busy, parking a nightmare - and as I’ve been told the fireworks were a bit of a letdown because of the hazy weather. Tomorrow morning I want to get up before sunrise and go up to the citadel once again… I hope the weather will play along with my plans. Haze can make for some beautiful photographs, but I want to put my telephoto lens to use, and clear weather would be more helpful for what I have in mind. However, no matter what: I’m going to bring home lots of pics this weekend, so watch that space over the next few days!

I’m not sure if this is a hang-over that I’m suffering, or just an ordinary headache. It does feel bad, either way. The thing is I always get headaches on Saturdays and Sundays, but it makes no difference whether I had alcohol the previous night or not. This sucks!

Last night we returned to the Hunky-dory, taking its owner’s advice (Tami had left a message on my blog) and arriving a little late-ish (after 9 pm, not 11, because we were starved!) and we had a great meal in a great atmosphere - and stayed till after midnight. The music this time round was classic to prog rock - and the place was buzzing with a very mixed clientèle. I’m taking a real liking to that place!

Speaking of Music… the release of Chasing Pandora’s new EP, aptly titled TWO, is just around the corner! Only four songs… but Mel was busy bringing her precious baby daughter Asia into the world, so I guess we ought to cut her some slack!!

I’ve been listening to all four songs as I’m writing this, trying to make up my mind which one is my favourite, but I’m afraid that’s impossible.

The one going right into the ear from the start is Only Yesterday (see lyrics at the end of this post), so I suppose that’s going to be what we’ll hear most frequently on local radio stations. I love Memories - finally Keith is allowed to sing too, yay!! It’s beautiful.

No-One Else is a very special love song. Mel says in its introduction on their official website: “When you have that someone special in your life - You feel like that person is your whole world. - This song is for my baby girl Asia.”

Seeing that I left Me and You for last (well it is last on the EP!), it might be my least favourite - but then again I can’t say I don’t like it. Throwing in the kids’ voices was an awesome idea!

Go to CP’s website, where you’ll find brief stories behind all songs, and their lyrics. There are also audio snippets** - but at the moment you can enjoy the full-length versions on CP’s MySpace page: do hurry over before they fix that!!

**Update: instead of fixing the MySpace uploads, I just received an e-mail that the full versions are now on their official website, too! Good move!!

Now get that CD onto the shelves!!

Only Yesterday

We walk towards the golden sun
Under blue moons is where we run
The world today has so many tales to tell.

Heros come and heros go
Rocks with spirit and trees with soul
In a withering world we call our home

The wind it blows in our many faces
The sand it buries forbidden secrets
and we fight it till the end

We think it will go away tomorrow
If we close our eyes and forget the sorrow
Then we wake up and its still there.

Chorus:
We’re losing count of all the things
we feel sorry about
and our words seemed so precious yesterday
But that was only yesterday

We paint the sky like we’re picasso
In their vision, we believe the mission
They know that we will follow.

The sun it rises and then it sets
Forgets today and it’s regrets
and it still lightens up the world tomorrow

Human race is not like the sun
It goes back to where the fights begun
Just to win nothing in the end.

Chorus:
We’re losing count of all the things
we feel sorry about
But our words seemed so precious yesterday
But that was only yesterday.

What about tomorrow
Or do we still miss yesterday
Why do we miss yesterday
in it’s own little messed up way

Chorus:
We’re losing count of all the things
we feel sorry about
And our words seemed so precious yesterday
But that was only yesterday.