Luxuries vs Necessities
This blog post has been simmering on a low flame all through last night, yet another one that was mostly sleepless. I’ve written it in stages and I don’t have the stamina to fine-tune it by way of editing. But what I want to say is all there…
Yesterday the postman brought me two letters; one contained my blood test results of last week, which I’d been broadly informed about earlier by my GP, but which came as a bit of a shock just the same. I knew that two tumor markers were elevated – but until yesterday I didn’t know which ones (namely CA125 at 42.1 units/ml and CEA at 281 ng/ml).
Additionally, serum ferritin also turned out high (438 ng/ml). Interestingly, the symptoms resulting from high ferritin levels are those that I’m suffering from, most notably “pain throughout the body”, caused by deposition of excess iron in the body.
Tumor markers alone cannot serve as a screening test to diagnose cancer (just imagine how miraculous that would be!), because various other factors can cause levels of these proteins to rise (just one example: smokers tend to have higher CEA levels than non-smokers – please don’t beat me up over this!). Other diagnostic measure are needed. OK, let me rephrase that: I need other diagnostic measures! And that’s where the second bad news of yesterday comes in. Mater Dei Hospital is pleased to inform me that an MRI has been scheduled for me for the 31st January 2011. No appointments yet for CT or isotope bone scan.
Necessity:
Where cancer is concerned, we are constantly bombarded with the advice how early detection is paramount for a possible cure. At the slightest suspicion you should go and see a doctor. They drum it into your head, brainwash you into believing it’s solely up to you to get healing. The message that ultimately sticks in your head – whether that’s intentional or not – is that it’s you who is to blame if you die of cancer. What a bloody farce!
What is luxury?
When I moved to Gozo in 1984, the term ‘luxury’ was redefined in my head. In those days, a television set constituted a luxury, a telephone line. On a more mundane level and in purely random order, ‘Mars’ bars (or any real chocolate, for that matter), deodorant that didn’t reek of toilet cleaner, smoked ham, Swiss cheese… all these were items that were hard to come by and therefore – well, luxuries. (Note on the side: An amenity that has remained a luxury right into today’s technology-governed age is uninterrupted electricity supply (I was blessed with a powercut while writing this post) – but let’s better not go there now!!)
In all honesty, none of these really ever bothered me bad enough to change my mind about living here. Overall, there’s always been a balance in favour of Gozo. However, now life itself is creeping into the equation… Dictionary.com defines luxury as
“a material object, service, etc., conducive to sumptuous living, usually a delicacy, elegance, or refinement of living rather than a necessity.”
Yet here I am, squeezed in a 3+ months waiting loop that could cost me my bare life – never mind any degrees of “elegance” or “refinement” of the same!
Conclusion:
Making a life in Gozo can be a true luxury if ever there was one – and it could well turn out to be the one you’ll crave most but will never afford!
